But, like everything else to do with positive thinking, there is always a caveat which I would describe as good selfishness and bad selfishness – and the difference between the two are enormous to such an extent that they represent total opposites – one being highly positive and the other damagingly negative. If you are a positive thinking person then there are at least eight good reasons to be totally selfish.
First of all and my number one reason is that good selfishness starts with liking yourself. That doesn’t mean to say that you have to think that you’re perfect because we all have faults. Liking yourself for what you are warts ‘n’ all and knowing that you will always do what’s right is a good start. Liking yourself means that you will also like other people and are more likely to be a real friend.
Good selfishness and this is my second reason also means that you sometimes have to let people down, but you make sure they know there is a very good reason and will make it up to them at some future date. It might mean that something has to give because you need “me time” to recharge batteries and sometimes there are clashes and you have to choose which one is most important to you.
Good selfishness number three is making sure that you remain in the right shape to look after your family and your job and those things that are important to you. Yes, you are being selfish, but it is for the best of reasons.
When you go through life with such a mind-set then you are working with positive thinking and the Law of Attraction because you are focused, know what you want, know what’s right and the Universe in turn will always be ready to work with you.
Good selfishness number four means being dependable. No one likes to put their trust in someone that is likely to let them down so what’s wrong with having a great opinion of yourself if you are going to deliver on your promises. Some might think that you are conceited and maybe a little arrogant, but you are going to be there when it matters.
Good selfishness number five is about unconditional love for the people around you. That might sound too focused for some but it shows the intensity of your feelings for the people that are most important in your life.
Believe it or not good selfishness number six is also about the ability to say no. You cannot be expected to do everything and if you are failing at what you do then how can you possibly deliver on all your other promises - so always recognize the time when no is the right answer. The same applies to being honest, good selfishness number seven. If you cannot be open and straight with people then they will never know what to expect.
So what could good selfishness number eight be about? That’s easy - making sure than nothing can disturb your peace of mind or esteem because if you are calm then your decision making process will always be at its best for the benefit of everyone else.
This is not so in the case of bad selfishness where no one else on this planet matters. For such people it will always be about them, their welfare, their happiness, their sense of entitlement and they will go to any length to ensure it remains that way.
They are not very likeable people but because they are so self-centred they have gone through life bull dozing all before them and as a result they are frequently in positions of authority where they can bully and harass others to bend to their will.
Those that practice bad selfishness are not good in relationships unless of course they manage to find a willing doormat to do their bidding, they make bad lovers are totally unreliable and are quick to blame others for anything that goes wrong.
It is impossible for such people to ever work in harmony with the Universe because every part of them radiates negativity which affects everything they touch and everyone they meet, but the sad thing is that, more often than not, they are totally unaware of the kind of person they are.
Paradoxically, many of those afflicted with bad selfishness are outwardly charming and on first impressions give a false picture of their true character which means they can quickly tarnish and affect the lives of other. Scratch away at the veneer and you soon see the real person underneath.
We all know such people and try to avoid them but it could be there is one such person in your life who fits this description or maybe, just maybe, you have recognised yourself from the previous description. If the penny has just dropped then it’s not too late to change – but it will take enormous work on your part because you will need to alter the habits of a lifetime.
You might like to start by talking to those few friends you still have left and ask them to give you an honest assessment of what they really think about you, if they are brave enough, but in truth you will already know that something is wrong.
You now have to put others first, consider their welfare, start liking yourself a little more, highlight the things that a genuinely good about you – no one is all bad – and set about change. Start thinking more positively about things you could do for others that would make a difference, try volunteering or supporting charities – you get the idea.
I guess you might also have to start saying sorry to an awful lot of people, but you have made a start and gradually the Universe will take notice and positive thinking will lock in. Your relationships will improve, people will want to be around you – and then real success will follow.
You can of course still be a little bit selfish – but only when it’s for good.
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